7 of Spades: Re-evaluating

Yes, it has been a while since I have posted. I spent weeks re-accessing just what I want in my creative life, as well, as de-cluttering, organizing and changing my office, and going through my entire house de-cluttering. There have been many trips to Goodwill and the used bookstore as well as a lot of garbage going out the door.
It was a lot of inner work as well as outer/environment work.
It’s funny, when you decide to de-clutter and work on things, a lot of demons that you thought were safely in their cages, decide to come out and wreck havoc.
This morning, I awoke feeling for the first time since starting all of this: clear and set.
OK, I’m done, I did it, I know where I’m heading now, time to get back to my writing and art!
So, I drew a card specifically for this post and got a good laugh.
It was the 7 of Spades.

Ah yes, the 7 of Spades is about going within, doing a lot of evaluating and paying attention to your intuition. It is also about valuing knowledge, freedom and independence.
One of the things that I worked through was setting boundaries for myself and understanding exactly what I wanted to be doing as a creative – and about letting go of the guilt or feelings that I should be doing what others think I should be doing.
The 7 of Spades doesn’t want to feel restricted but resists taking risks. That was exactly the conundrum I was feeling.

A big part of what I went through was the age old battle between needing to earn a living and doing what you really want to be doing.
Fortunately, as I was going through this, I was also going through The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [10th Anniversary Edition]

Her book is what launched me into taking my writing seriously about 15 years ago. I wasn’t sure I would need to go through it again, but it’s amazing how you can see things you didn’t see before, and realize there are still areas in your creative life that you need to work on.

Art and Abundance seems to constantly be this muddy entanglement we battle with as creatives. We either keep the day job and write/create on days off or we take a big leap of faith and work full-time not really knowing if/when the income will follow.
We are still drowning in the mass consciousness belief that art doesn’t pay the bills, well, except for the very lucky few out there.

This thought is what allowed me to take the leap and I realized I needed to embrace it again:

Why would we be given a passion/desire to create____________ (fill in blank here with the medium you love) and not be also given the ways/means of support to be able to still live?

Here is a quote from The Artists Way: “What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.”

There was a time in my life when I daydreamed about doing something very specific, but had absolutely no ways/means or knowledge of how to do it. I just sat and saw myself doing it.
Suddenly, things started happening that launched me into exactly what I wanted to be doing. There was no way I could have set all of it up with step by step actions. It all fell into place and I made good money doing it as well as it being one of the most fun,rewarding and fabulous jobs I have ever had.

There is no disclaimer on the above statement about what type of thing you have to want to do…it doesn’t say “Only for doctors, lawyers or investment bankers….or what your parents believe in or the hot job field of the month.”

I know from personal experience that the above works and works very well. I have been too focused on that mass consciousness gunk that has everyone thinking that only a select few make it and are successful as painters or writers (or whatever your passion is).

So, after clearing some gunk, and getting back to fully embracing what I want to really be doing, I’m also embracing the above quote from The Artists Way.
It feels good!