Ah yes, the 7 of Spades is about going within, doing a lot of evaluating and paying attention to your intuition. It is also about valuing knowledge, freedom and independence.
One of the things that I worked through was setting boundaries for myself and understanding exactly what I wanted to be doing as a creative – and about letting go of the guilt or feelings that I should be doing what others think I should be doing.
The 7 of Spades doesn’t want to feel restricted but resists taking risks. That was exactly the conundrum I was feeling.

A big part of what I went through was the age old battle between needing to earn a living and doing what you really want to be doing.
Fortunately, as I was going through this, I was also going through The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity [10th Anniversary Edition]

Her book is what launched me into taking my writing seriously about 15 years ago. I wasn’t sure I would need to go through it again, but it’s amazing how you can see things you didn’t see before, and realize there are still areas in your creative life that you need to work on.

Art and Abundance seems to constantly be this muddy entanglement we battle with as creatives. We either keep the day job and write/create on days off or we take a big leap of faith and work full-time not really knowing if/when the income will follow.
We are still drowning in the mass consciousness belief that art doesn’t pay the bills, well, except for the very lucky few out there.

This thought is what allowed me to take the leap and I realized I needed to embrace it again:

Why would we be given a passion/desire to create____________ (fill in blank here with the medium you love) and not be also given the ways/means of support to be able to still live?

Here is a quote from The Artists Way: “What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.”

There was a time in my life when I daydreamed about doing something very specific, but had absolutely no ways/means or knowledge of how to do it. I just sat and saw myself doing it.
Suddenly, things started happening that launched me into exactly what I wanted to be doing. There was no way I could have set all of it up with step by step actions. It all fell into place and I made good money doing it as well as it being one of the most fun,rewarding and fabulous jobs I have ever had.

There is no disclaimer on the above statement about what type of thing you have to want to do…it doesn’t say “Only for doctors, lawyers or investment bankers….or what your parents believe in or the hot job field of the month.”

I know from personal experience that the above works and works very well. I have been too focused on that mass consciousness gunk that has everyone thinking that only a select few make it and are successful as painters or writers (or whatever your passion is).

So, after clearing some gunk, and getting back to fully embracing what I want to really be doing, I’m also embracing the above quote from The Artists Way.
It feels good!

I love retro, I love the 50/60’s housewife icon and this deck looked like a lot of fun. One of the things so great about using a tarot deck when you are creating, either a story, or something visual, is you have all the various images to draw from in all the different decks.
After spending some time with my new deck this morning, I decided to draw a card from it specifically for today’s post- As a “just for fun, let’s see what I get” sort of thing.
After all, even though the readings from any divination tool is serious and very beneficial, we can also just have fun with it.

The card I drew was the Queen of Wands. I love this image! I got a chuckle out of it because the first thing that popped into my head was this:
“WTF? Look at all I can do! I run circles around you and you are questioning me about what??”

The Queen of wands is the most charismatic figure of the tarot deck….let me list some words of what she exemplifies (and if you will, picture Bruno from Dancing with The Stars, standing, doing dramatic arm sweeps as he lists these words):
She is fiery, passionate, very creative, sensual, dynamic, when she wants something she gets it, successful, alluring and charming.
She is the woman all of us women wish we were and she is the woman men crave to have…baby, she has it all…and when she walks into a room, everyone takes notice and when she wants something, she’ll move heaven and earth to get it done!
Think the lady in red….ohhhh…lala….!!

Now, my intent is to bring the card around to how it can help us with our creativity and here is what came to mind:
As a creative- gosh, wouldn’t it be nice if we embodied the fiery queen of wands? We’d get our ideas done in the snap of a finger, while doing a million others things as well cooking the most scrumptious gourmet meal, making passionate love that sends our lover into such a state of bliss that they go into a 2 day coma all while looking so sexy that Angelina Jolie fears us. Hot damn!
Yea, well, I don’t know about you, but that hasn’t happened to me yet.
As a creative, I would just be happy with being able to get my stuff done!

But, what if we used the Queen of Wands as an energy to draw from? When we need that extra boost of something to help us get our stuck in the mud feet freed and get the idea ball a rollin’, what if we could tap into the power of her?

Ah, yes, that is the beauty of the one thing that we each have: the power of our imaginations…and the ability to pretend! Let me tell you, pretending isn’t just for kids! Its a gift we have and we should utilize it more often!

So, here is what hit me- the Queen of Wands….dressed in red, or with fiery red hair…encompassing the energy of fire….stay with me, but let me back up a little.
During the years that I studied interior decor ( and specifically color) and how our surroundings affected our mental, emotional and spiritual well-being, I used the color red and elements of fire to decorate with to help me light the fire on my creativity and to jump start myself on the path that I was passionate about. I was drawn to red in my clothes, I painted my entire entryway red and I have a lot of red in my living room decor. I needed something to balance out my tendency to always stay stuck in my emotions- I needed the fire/red energy to move me to action.
And, it did indeed work. Now, I don’t need all that red as much, but when I am feeling bogged down, stuck, unsuccessful or can’t get an idea off the ground, I tap into the power of color, the power of red and fire elements.
I even created a character that became a mentor for me. She would show up when I needed a boost and guess what? Yep, she was a fiery red-head who never took no for an answer, who sashayed into my day and dramatically kicked my creative ass into action!
When I needed her, I could conjure her up in my imagination and hear her talking to me, see her actions and in the same powerful way that having an actual person there to spur me on – I had her, when I needed her and the results were the same.

The Queen of Wands housewife isn’t clad in red, but you can see it in her face…you don’t mess with her and she isn’t a shy little wallflower. She may just be a housewife (writer/artist) but baby, she knows how to get it done and get it done with flare!!

The message I got with this card today was that we have all this power we can access. No, its not set aside for only for the very special, or the already wealthy or the genius, we each have it: I’ll say it again…the always there for us, never let us down power of the imagination.
We can create that Queen of Wands attitude when we need a boost and we need to get er dun!

Ah, look! There she is, she just walked into your office/studio…see her standing there? Her red nails tapping on the edge of your desk….what are you two going to set on fire today?

photo credit: telemetry9
Today, I drew the 2 of Hearts. I have drawn it several times in the past week, so I took a closer look at it today.
The 2 of Hearts is about partnerships, romance and affairs. But there is another aspect of it:  the overly sensitive person.
A 2 of Hearts type:

1. Deeply affected by your surroundings
2. Sensitive to how others think of you and treat you.
3. You have a tremendous need for everyone to love, support,encourage,  acknowledge and accept you.
4. If you don’t feel you have the above, you can become ill or depressed.
5. You often misunderstand the motives of others.
6. Your sensitivity distorts your perception of the actions of others.
7. You have a strong desire to learn and knowledge nourishes your soul.
8. You tend to chose one thing over another.
9. You yearn for companionship.
10. You can sabotage relationships based on false expectations.

I’ll (begrudgingly) admit, this is so me. And, yes, it held me back in my creative endeavors for a big part of my life.
While the sensitivity helped my creativity, it also sabotaged it. It held me back from doing what I really wanted to do because I was waiting to receive permission, support and acceptance and I was basing too much on the need for others to give me the nod before I tried something.

Let’s face it, while we can have many loving, supportive people in our lives, when it comes to creating-especially in the creative arts- folks react to it in so many ways: jealousy, envy, denial, beliefs in lack or the misconception that nothing in the creative arts can succeed,or just plain ole lack of knowledge in that area.
If we are overly sensitive to types like that, it can blow a hole right through our ideas and sink us fast.
As well, being overly sensitive can keep us from taking those first few steps in making an idea a reality. It takes work to get a jumble of ideas out of our heads and down on paper, or onto a canvas or whatever medium we have chosen. It takes time and devotion to step away from our usual routine and begin creating. We are going to experience some type of reaction from those around us regardless of how supportive they are. Acting on the desire to create is powerful energy and it does rock the boat we are in.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Are you a 2 of hearts type?

Has it affected your desire to create?

This week, I’ll be posting more on this: the advantages to being overly sensitive and how to use it to unleash your creativity, and, how to keep your sensitivities from sabotaging your desire to create.

One of the thoughts that the Sun shares is: True freedom exists when we are free from the fear of loss.

I got to thinking about the state of our society right now. So many people who were use to having it all, are now facing losing it all. The American life of the big house and the big car and whatever material possessions we want-we can have, is collapsing. The material things and the balance in our bank accounts and the status of  those things, for some, is what defined us. What defines us when we lose it all? Who are we if we have to move in with our parents, or start delivering pizzas instead of being the big guy on the block who had everything?
The other irony of this card draw for me is that this is exactly what the protagonist in my novel is going through. She based her life on her success and material acquisitions – she  is then thrown a curve ball by having to go back to her roots and past, something she has avoided for a really long time, and she *thinks* that it will, in the end, add some more to her bottom line. Instead, she learns what real abundance is.

We became such a disconnected society. Now, with what is going on, we are learning to reconnect. Before, when we needed help, we whipped out the checkbook and paid for help. Now, communities are coming together to provide help, not with monetary exchanges, but with hands on help.
The message of the 8 of diamonds is that with abundance and power comes responsibility.
The message of the Sun card is that we have choices to make and we need to make them based on careful observations and practical application.
It is humans who do the work of the Divine. When our hands refuse to reach out and help, the bounty of the Sun (Divine) is limited and lack is experienced.
How is this about creativity? Creativity is power. Ideas are power and can create abundance. We are going through a time when we need new ideas; we need new perspectives and the ideas that we share with our creativity can help move us in a new direction. We also need to support one another. We have lived the time in America when it was all about competition and about seeing who could grab onto the most and have it all to themselves.  And, how did that work out for us?
There is nothing wrong with abundance; the Sun card and the 8 of diamonds affirms that Divine infinite provision is offered, and we do live in the land of plenty and endless bounty.  Creativity- that ability to create our reality- that innate power within us, is always there. We can responsibly utilize it or we can destroy everything with it.
Maybe we should have a new slogan- instead of  “What’s in your wallet?” – how about  “What’s in your creative hands?”

The 3 of spades is creative inspiration – it is such a strong creative energy, that unless the person is focused on a venue for that energy, they can become scattered and indecisive.
I am one of those who has too many ideas and I don’t like staying with one for a long time. I could never work for the same company my whole life or work on a factory line. I can’t stand routine or ruts. I’m not one who enjoys strict structure and rules. I like dabbling here and there, trying out a multitude of ideas that flood my head as I try to fall asleep. Barbara Sher even wrote a book for folks like me:Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams

The 3 of spades MUST express themselves. It is about varied interests and being talented on more that one front ( I seriously envy those who have one great talent and they are working in a field using that talent) and those who are this card are good at a lot of different jobs. The issue happens when the person is unsure of their goals in life; all that creative energy turns to worry. Constant, debilitating worry.

What this card teaches is that with enormous creative energy one must also utilize patience and persistence; one must also have a clear cut goal.

I knew exactly what the card was saying to me when I drew it. In an earlier post, I realized I needed a new list of goals. Well, as exciting as that is, I went into hysterics over it…..because I like to dabble in so many things. And I tend to feel that I need to let go of what I am currently working on and try something new.
What the card was saying to me was: If you want to achieve success, adopt a slow but sure approach. Listen to your intuition and inner vision.
Allow the creative energies to be the source of inspiration, not a distraction.

What I have learned is that we can know we are on the right path (with a job, a relationship, a project) when what we need to make it work appears for us. A mentor, help, advice, materials, education and of course positive feelings about all of it. Then it is a matter of sticking to it and using the creative energy to feed it. The trick is in realizing that a lot of creative energy can also feel like discontentment: a feeling that we should go off in another direction instead. It can be hard to discern a lot of energy from restlessness and confusion over what to do.

In talking with other writers about writing a novel, we all are experiencing that realization that it takes time-dedicated, focused time. Its an odd gig. It can take years to complete. Unlike a painting that we can watch come together and even if it takes a few weeks or a few months, the end result is there in front of us, we can see it, touch it. A novel in progress is partly in our heads, some on paper, some on the hard drive. Months can be spent on research, weeks doing something else while it brews in our subconscious. Folks can’t see the work we are doing.
But, the creative energy is flowing through us; it can feel antsy, disheveled, and it can make us worry. Are we on the right track? Is this project going to be worth it in the end? Why am I really doing this? Is it as good as I originally thought it would be?

The thought for today is: Be easy on yourself. With a lot of creative energy comes opportunities and ideas, which can lead to indecision and stress. if unsure of what direction to go in, go do something physical, move, go out into nature…then tune in to your inner voice and trust yourself.

Are you one who can stick with something for a really long time and see the outcome? Or, do you like to go off in a hundred different directions? Do you have a way to keep yourself on track?

In the meantime, I have been working on other projects.

In my personal life, I’ve been riding an emotional roller coaster due to a family event that has stirred old emotions, old patterns and has brought up some deep anger. Childhood stuff. Has been dealt with. (do we ever really fully get over that stuff??)

Well, now I can see that I dealt with as much as I could up to this point. This new event has me seeing that some more stuff lies deep down and I am now ready to deal with it. As a matter of fact, next week, I am going to participate in a soul retrieval ritual. The signs are there that whatever else had broken off from me due to certain traumas, I think I am now ready to re-attach.

Today, I drew the 3 of Hearts from the regular playing deck. When I draw from this deck, it is specifically for work and I set the intention of the draw as that. What is going on in relationship to my work? To my creativity?
At first I was puzzled by the card – it is about creative self expression. It is also about emotional indecisiveness.
Trying to see how it fit with the writer/artist life, I was looking at scattered energies creating indecision. But, as my daughter and I were eating pancakes, I told her about the card draw and how I was pondering what it meant. Her response was: “That’s exactly what you have been going through.”
“True, but the card is not my personal draw, it is for work, I need to see it in relationship to creativity.” I replied.

We talked about how we both have so many projects going on and how we do get scattered to the point of not being able to sit down and get something done.

But, then it hit me.

I wanted to know how my character would feel…I mean…really feel and react to what she was being thrown into. Now I know.
Seeing what I have been feeling and how I have been reacting-emotionally indecisive- I can take that and apply it to my character.

Our characters can’t spend days hemming and hawing and drowning in emotions – they have to make decisions and get going, otherwise the story goes no where. Sometimes, I think it would be nice if our personal lives were like the books we read-we get thrust into some nasty ordeal, but we do something; we move forward; we make a choice; take a step and get going.

And isn’t that the point of storytelling? It helps us learn to deal with things. We watch the characters deal with pain, sadness, anger, grief or impossible ordeals and we watch them take action.

If I went through what my character did and I had to make the choices that she has to make, heck, I’d still be back in her bed, tossing and crying and curled up in a little ball pondering: what should I do???

I’m glad I’ve had this experience in my own life come along at this time to allow me to know how my character would feel. I can now write about the emotional and physical sensations and what trauma does to you. I wanted to know and I got my answer.

I’m also glad that because I am writing and I have to make my character take action- I also have insight into moving forward.

Those rascally little card draws…how dare it mix my personal stuff into my work….;)

That is my card for today. As always, it is so appropriate. The 2 of Clubs brings the message that it is time of inaction, of hibernating to reflect, to be in that moment between breathing in and breathing out.
My last few days have been out of the norm. My father is recovering from a heart attack and there has been some of the old family drama that has crept in, casting me back into the past. But, this time I am grateful for coming as far as I have – although it shook me for a moment, I recovered quickly and can take a step back and see where I am in all of it.

I am grateful I learned that inaction does not make us lazy or a sloth. We all need times of inaction, time to pull back and listen to our intuition and to be still. As a writer and artist, there are many days of being in the middle of something and suddenly all it seems I am able to do is sit and stare out my window. But, on those days, even if it seemed that nothing was getting accomplished, it was. There are times when the ‘work’ is being done on the inside, in the subconscious,and it needs to simmer and stew before i’s presented to us and we can take action on what was delivered.
I am very grateful that I work from home, in my own space and on those days when I need to hibernate and when things are inside vs out, I can allow that process. If only it were that way out in the job world, yes?

So today’s thoughts to share are: Do not mistake inaction for indecision. Success lies in allowing your intuition to lead. Make the time to hibernate and rejuvenate your own self, or go to a place where you can sit with the inner richness of your unlimited mind. After all, that is where all of our potential and power lies; how else can we tap into it, if we never allow it to speak?

What can create serenity and inner stillness in your body?

This is just a way for me to share what inspires me from the card I draw.

That said- Today, I drew the Ace of Hearts (which would correlate to the Ace of Cups in the Tarot)

As always-how appropriate it was for what I have been thinking about and, my goodness, what a great card to draw at the beginning of a new season:Spring!

It’s all about new beginnings, projects blossoming, new romance….ok, I could go on and on…I’ll save that for the next post.

What struck me for today was that my thoughts have been this: I recently realized that the things I had on my list of what I wanted over the past few years, I now have! It’s time for a new list!
As exciting as that thought is, it’s also a bit scary. Of course, I can rattle off the “things” I would like to have: A flat screen TV so I can put it on a particular wall and re-arrange my living room, a new table and chairs for our balcony so we can enjoy meals out there this spring and summer, new carpeting,etc.

The list I am referring to is where we go for those things that can’t be bought, the things that tug at our hearts, the desires and wants surrounding who we are and what we do.
For many of us, when we focus on those things, all the old tapes start playing…”You can’t do that! You’re not talented enough! Who are you to think you could accomplish THAT??”
You know those voices.

So, today, my question and thought that the Ace of Hearts presented me was this:
“Think optimistically and use the vastness of your imagination to forge your new future. See it. Feel it. Own it. The desire for new beginnings is the first step. Fill this day with possibilities waiting to be embraced. Seek out that which will fill your heart with love.”

It’s time for me to create a new list.
Do you make lists?