Ash Joie Lee » Uncategorized

Sex Scene Saturday

Ash — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 15:16:59 +0000

That is what we have deemed to be the topic of our next writers group meeting. Accompanying the topic will be wine, candles…fans?

The reason for this is that those of us with sex scenes (moi) have been very nervous about reading them. To the point of suggesting that someone else read it and we’ll step out of the room.
My big sex scene is coming up. (no pun intended, or maybe that was a Freudian slip?)

Now, I have read a scene that seemed to be heading in that direction, but was hilariously interrupted…but, still, even reading that scene was difficult.

My book has several romances going on and I like romance in a story. I like love triangles and interesting dilemmas in finding love. And, I like reading good sex scenes…and I’ll admit, writing them.

But, why is it so nerve-wracking to think of someone reading it?

My father told me he couldn’t wait to read my book. My first thought was, uh, no way are you reading my book! (my main character is a seductive seeker of flings because she can’t have committed relationships)

I once asked a group of ladies (who are pretty open about discussing their sex lives) how they liked sex scenes to be in the books they read-do they like explicit scenes? Scenes that allude to the sex? Or just a snippet of things and they can fill in the rest?

To my surprise they all answered that they didn’t want anything explicit-they preferred nothing at all. Seriously?

I don’t think I write explicit scenes, although this one scene has a few explicit lines. I don’t get into the cliched “body part” listing or details that woudl be in erotica. I do like alluding to things, but mainly I like to tell how the character feels via their senses as well as emotions.

But, still, as much as we are bombarded by sex each day in a multitude of ways, why do we as writers get so nervous when it comes to someone else reading a sex scene that we have written?

I’m still giggling over what this meeting will look like. It’s a women’s writing group, so on that day, it might look more like a girls slumber party…

But, this has led me to do some sex scene writing research. I’m going to work on the scene I wrote and I’ll share what I gleaned from the experts out there in an upcoming post.

How do you like sex scenes to read?

Interviewed by the Snooty Primadona

Ash — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:42:31 +0000

I have been interviewed by the Snooty Primadona! How many people can say that? (well, I guess as many as requested for her to interview them )
This is a blog meme of sorts going around. Those who are playing ask to be interviewed by someone else and on the post with the interview, readers can say in the comment section, ‘Interview Me’ and then they get asked five questions.
So, here are the questions and my answers.

1. You’re obviously a very romantic person. Is your husband as romantic as you are? An example?
OH yes, and another huge YES! He is very romantic.

An example…he makes amazing cappuccinos and brings them to me in bed. He brings home flowers and every Friday (he works half days) we go out to lunch together and then we go somewhere special for desert and coffee.

He has written me poetry and sung songs to me. He is just a very sweet guy! Another thing he does a lot is he’ll hear me say..”Oh, I need such and such” and he’ll get it for me and surprise me with it. I’m pretty spoiled!

2. Have you thought about what you’re going to do when the kids are gone & you have an empty nest?
Well, actually, I became an empty nester 5 years ago. It was very rough on me; I was so depressed for months! I love being a mom and my home and kids are what have always meant the most to me. So, I went on the hunt for a puppy and after two years of searching for one (and getting hubby to agree-he had never had a dog, he’s a cat person) I found my new baby! His name is Sogi .
But, I am so glad to be in this place in my life where I can do things spontaneously and I began doing some of the things that I had wanted to do for years.
My kids do visit a lot and we all really love getting together. We decided this year for Christmas we would take a family vacation and make it about good times and memories and not about gifts-so we rented a cabin in the TN mountains for a week, which was wonderful!
I like my quiet days at home, but I don’t mind if there is a “kid” here. Yea, I’m weird like that.

3. This might be a silly question, but I’m curious. Being from Asheville, what is your favorite genre of music? Any favorite?
I love ALL types of music. My son is a drummer and he keeps me posted on new upcoming indie bands and I listen to pretty much everything! About the only thing I’m not into is Rap. I do feel lucky to have the music venues we have here.

4. Do you partake in any sports or do you have an exercise regime that works for you?
I use to be a water fitness instructor and Swim coach. For me, water exercise and swimming was the best way for me to stay in shape and not have negative consequences with my knees and back issues. I use to also be big into cycling. Ok, those are all past tense. *sigh*

Now, I walk my dog in our neighborhood which is on the side of a mountain, where there are no flat streets, so it’s a workout to walk here. We also try to do a lot of hiking when the weather permits, which until this winter was a lot of the year.

BUT, I’m looking for something else…..sitting here wondering….wracking my brain while lying on the couch watching TV….really searching out ideas while taking my naps….hoping for inspiration while soaking in a hot bubble bath….scoping out the possibilities while out to lunch….

5. If you could have a theme song that pretty much *says it all* for you, what would that song be?
Hmmm…what first comes to mind is the song The Last Resort by the Eagles. Has been my song since I was in Jr High – the reason being is that I grew up on the Navajo reservation and my dad was a preacher…I saw too much of the horrible deeds done in the name of God and Christianity…that songs says how I feel about a lot of things.

But, that is just a small part of ‘me’…..this is a hard one to answer! I’m multi-faceted! I change daily-sometimes moment to moment! Is there a song about that? How can a two minute song sum up a person? Great question but hard for me to answer.

OK, so here are the rules for the Interview Meme:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the
questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview
someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (You get to choose the questions.)

The first five askers get the interview!

Fools Rush In

Ash — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 17:12:05 +0000

Fear not,
What is not real, never was and never will be. What is real, always was and cannot be destroyed.
Bhagavad Gita

There is a state of ecstasy and wonder that is experienced by all humankind. We witness it in small children who seem to have no fear in their explorations and discoveries. It is only after hearing “no”, “be careful” and “stop that!” over and over that they form their fears.
But that wonder and ecstasy is the natural state of our soul. IN that state, we know who we are and we operate from that essence. We are courageous and creative.
The phrase “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread” and “Look before you leap” are the opposite, telling us to look at every angle and make a rational decision before trying anything. Ever seen a two year old do that? I haven’t.
I have a two year old nephew and I love watching how courageously he goes about things.

When we first fall in love, many times we abandon our logic and we have a stretch of time where we feel that wonder and ecstasy. Others may think the relationship is all wrong, we may ignore everything else in our lives during that time and we sure don’t look before we leap.
We are just floating along, two feet above the ground, our eyes glazed over with cupid hovering nearby; a silly grin on his face. We don’t care what anyone thinks and it’s as if we are the only ones out in public, everything else becomes a blur.
Ah, doesnt that time feel so fabulous?? What a fool we make of ourselves!

I once heard a radio program explaining all of that, why it happens, what is going on in our brains and why it ends. Very interesting indeed, but I’m not going to go into the physiological process.
What I wanted to explore was the fact that that state of courageous wonder and ecstasy is available to us to draw from at any time. It is always within us. It is there when things get stale or rocky in our romantic relationships. It is there when we feel drained and have no energy. It is there when we feel creatively dry and can’t seem to implement a new idea. The fact is that even though we are adults, we should still tap into that childlike wonder and be courageous enough to be who we are, (even if it makes us look or feel like a fool) and to move forward with no fear.
I like the phrase “Leap and build your wings on the way down” a lot more than “Look before you leap”. I spent too many years being so careful all the time. I think we go through a cycle- first of being fearless as kids, then we move into creating fears, then trying to overcome our fears (while still being bombarded with shoulds and should nots) then as we get older and closer to that time when we again become more ‘childlike’ we slowly start to let go of fears, and we again become more of who we really are.
Why wait? It is a resource we have within that is so valuable and accessible-if we can just remember how it use to be!
To fully love, to fully give and to fully receive, you have to know who you are, at your core. And sometimes, we need that extra does of courage to get over the dry,stale, rocky stuff.
Stephen Spielberg commented in his acceptance speech when receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the Golden Globes that he constantly asks himself during a project, “Am I going to get away with this?” He also said that if he isn’t asking himself that question, then he knows he isn’t doing his best work.

What are the ‘fears’ holding you back?

Disappearing Act

Ash — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:21:24 +0000

Over at WalletPop is a list of 25 things that are disappearing from our Country. Yes, change happens and we don’t notice as much until we get older…then we are the ones telling the kids…I recall when we had....
Ah, yes, that’s when the past becomes the good ole days.
Here are some of the 25 things disappearing: Sad to see them go? Don’t care?

Out Houses - I can’t even remember the last time I used an out house. But I do recall when my grandparents still had one….not good memories. I’m glad to see that the percentage of American’s without indoor plumbing is dwindling to nothing.

The Yellow Pages/Classified Ads- I still use them once in a blue moon. The question now becomes -are we doing more harm eco wise with all the computers and digital products in our landfill vs all the trees we use for paper?

Movie Rental Stores/VCR’s- Remember when VCR’s and movie rental stores came out? How exciting! I still like perusing the walls of movie titles, but I also have a Blockbuster down the street from me. I still have a VCR and some of my favs are still in video.

Dial-up Internet - OMG- I just got off of dial up a few months ago! Won’t miss it! BUT, all we have here is Charter and they over charge and are not great in the customer service area…we need more competition!

Phone landlines/Answering Machines- We still have ours and after careful consideration on getting rid of it, we see that we would rather have it. I don’t like spending hours on my cell phone and it is cheaper for us to have a land line. Our cell phones are for when we are out and about and for emergencies. But I can’t imagine not being able to call someone no matter where I am! But, oh how I HATE my answering machine!

Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs- This is sad. Mu hubby grew up in MD and he loves getting Chesapeake Bay crabs. Me, I’m a western gal and don’t love em, but this is still sad.

Ash Trees- Who knew? The article says, “In the late 1990s, a pretty, irridescent green species of beetle, now known as the emerald ash borer, hitched a ride to North America with ash wood products imported from eastern Asia. In less than a decade, its larvae have killed millions of trees in the midwest, and continue to spread. They’ve killed more than 30 million ash trees in southeastern Michigan alone, with tens of millions more lost in Ohio and Indiana. More than 7.5 billion ash trees are currently at risk.”

Ham Radio

Swimming Holes- This is really sad. I grew up with amazing swimming holes in Oak Creek Canyon. Now, living in NC, we also have an abundance of swimming holes, but every year, there seems to be a tragic death at one of them. WalletPop writes, “Thanks to our litigious society, swimming holes are becoming a thing of the past. ’20/20′ reports that swimming hole owners, like Robert Every in High Falls, N.Y., are shutting them down out of worry that if someone gets hurt they’ll sue. And that’s exactly what happened in Seattle. The city of Bellingham was sued by Katie Hofstetter who was paralyzed in a fall at a popular swimming hole in Whatcom Falls Park. As injuries occur and lawsuits follow, expect more swimming holes to post “Keep out!” signs. Maybe our “litigiousness” needs to disappear?

Cameras that use film – This I don’t miss, but will developing film become a lost art?

Incandescent Bulbs – Yes! “And according to USA Today, a new energy bill plans to phase out incandescent bulbs in the next four to 12 years.”

Stand Alone Bowling Alleys – This is also sad. I was wondering as I was playing Bowling on my Wii this Christmas, will the Wii replace all of our Bowling Alleys? Bowling Alleys are a big social event for a lot of people and those type of things shouldn’t die.

The Milkman-The Milkman? I have never had a Milkman, but it is so very June Cleaver and American. I like when my Fed Ex guy makes a delivery (I work from home) Just talking to delivery people is great. We seem to be cutting ourselves off of real human contact.

Hand-written letters – Ah yes. For me, I really sucked at hand written letters. Not the writing part, the mailing part. I love beautiful stationary and writing with a great pen, I just never got them to the post office! (Out west, we mainly had to go to the P.O.) My MIL is very sad about this. She’ll send me a hand-written letter (even though we email weekly) just because this makes her so very sad. Hand-written letters are another art form we are losing.

Wild Horses- Article says, “It is estimated that 100 years ago, as many as two million horses were roaming free within the United States. In 2001, National Geographic News estimated that the wild horse population had decreased to about 50,000 head. Currently, the National Wild Horse and Burro Advisory board states that there are 32,000 free roaming horses in ten Western states, with half of them residing in Nevada. The Bureau of Land Management is seeking to reduce the total number of free range horses to 27,000, possibly by selective euthanasia.”
Since I grew up outwest and have ranchers in my bloodline, this is sad. I have a cowgirl friend who has a different perspective on this, why euthanize these horses when they could feed a lot of starving people? I agree, if they have to go down, allow their life to mean something. Don’t just kill them.

Personal Checks – I seldom use them now and it is odd to see that my kids never use them. But for me, out of sight/out of mind. Not having the balance ledger makes it hard to know just what is getitng spent and where? ( I know, how old fashion, keep track online!)

Drive In Theaters – Gosh, this takes me back to Junior high! Um, isn’t this where many a make-out session in the backseat went wrong?

Mumps and Measles – Good!

Honey Bees- This is very sad and very serious!
“Perhaps nothing on our list of disappearing America is so dire; plummeting so enormously; and so necessary to the survival of our food supply as the honey bee. ‘Colony Collapse Disorder,’ or CCD, has spread throughout the U.S. and Europe over the past few years, wiping out 50% to 90% of the colonies of many beekeepers — and along with it, their livelihood.”

News Magazines and TV News – For me personally, I’m glad. I seldom watch the news. We are way to bombarded with negativity and a lot of times, erroneous news.

Analog TV – Where are the good ole days of rabbitt ears??

What disappearences make you sad? Happy?

Yo, Floridians

Ash — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 14:51:03 +0000

OK, so this video was the first thing I watched online this morning…I love when laughing is the first thing I do in the morning! While I don’t have any Jewish/Floridians in my life, this was too funny not to share.

A Lazy Sunday

Ash — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 23:50:45 +0000

Dog’s Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and
I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up
my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
Attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had
hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my
capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a
“good little hunter” I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their
accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of
the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors
by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow,
but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and Snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously Retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the Guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an Elevated Cell, so he is safe. For now..

Inspiration Sea Love

Ash — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 22:14:52 +0000

Inspiration struck today. This time it was with a color palette. I am not someone who loves nautical/seascape colors in my decor, but while working on what I would be featuring over at Paisley Goddess Home, I found this color palette and fell in love with it!

While I am not a Pisces, I am a water person and some of my favorite activities involve water – swimming, lakes, baths, boating – I just can’t have those colors in my decor. I need warm earth tones..probably because too much of the cool water stuff and I can’t get grounded! (but thats another story!)

As that wonderful thing called serendipity would have it, as I was online grabbing hex codes for the colors, I ran across this blog and my jaw dropped. Not only was it a pleasure to read, but she has some great photos of the beach! It added to my inspiration!( Go visit her and see what I mean!)

We did have 2 vacations last year, both at the beach and I did take some photos. Since we had our new puppy along, I found it hard to hold onto him and catch good images at the same time. But, after going through the images from our vacations, I found a few I could play with.

And just for fun, I’m going to share a few!

Speaking of new puppy at the beach – here he is! This picture cracks me up now! He was so tiny then! You can see a more current picture of him in my left sidebar. What a sweetie pie dog he is – but he didn’t like the water at the beach!

The sky reflection in the water

While not the same as a tropical beach, you just can’t beat North Carolina’s island beaches!

Ahhhh…sweet memories and I will always love time near water! Now…back to creating with that wonderful color palette!

Looking For Hope

Ash — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:01:19 +0000

This morning while I was in that in between place when you are just waking up, I was reciting the lines that are on the base of the Statue of Liberty:

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

Now, normally, I don’t even recall the words to this, but I was reciting it as I was waking up. I do this most every morning. As I am waking up I am either having a conversation with someone who is not in my life or discussing a topic not relevant to my waking life. It is a fascinating thing indeed. If I can recall what I am saying, it leads to some interesting discoveries.

I got up to do my usual email and website checks. Since a feed I use was down and causing havoc in my sites, making it so I couldn’t can’t do any posts or work in them, I decided to work on some new images. As I was going through a disc of old images, I came across one I had started last fall. It was meant to be for my son for Christmas, but I never finished it.

As I was looking at it, the title came to me “Looking For Hope”

I wanted to add something else to the image…which at this point was just tree branches surrounding a bright ray of sunshine. I wanted to add another image to the center where the light was. I got to thinking about images that signified Hope.

Well, there is the Dove – the sign that gave Noah hope that the waters would be receding. And there is the…..oh my gosh, it hit me! There is the Statue of Liberty!
Now, I don’t want to put the Statue of Liberty in the center of this image, but how weird that I woke up reciting the words on the Statue of Liberty!

Now, my mind was spinning….references to hope….so many topics and memories, current events, all came racing to my thoughts. Then a song title – which has been my absolute favorite song since I was in Jr. High – The Last Resort by the Eagles.

EAGLES LYRICS

“The Last Resort”

She came from Providence,
the one in Rhode Island
Where the old world shadows hang
heavy in the air
She packed her hopes and dreams
like a refugee
Just as her father came across the sea

She heard about a place people were smilin’
They spoke about the red man’s way,
and how they loved the land
And they came from everywhere
to the Great Divide
Seeking a place to stand
or a place to hide

Down in the crowded bars,
out for a good time,
Can’t wait to tell you all,
what it’s like up there
And they called it paradise
I don’t know why
Somebody laid the mountains low
while the town got high

Then the chilly winds blew down
Across the desert
through the canyons of the coast, to
the Malibu
Where the pretty people play,
hungry for power
to light their neon way
and give them things to do

Some rich men came and raped the land,
Nobody caught ‘em
Put up a bunch of ugly boxes, and Jesus,
people bought ‘em
And they called it paradise
The place to be
They watched the hazy sun, sinking in the sea

You can leave it all behind
and sail to Lahaina
just like the missionaries did, so many years ago
They even brought a neon sign: “Jesus is coming”
Brought the white man’s burden down
Brought the white man’s reign

Who will provide the grand design?
What is yours and what is mine?
‘Cause there is no more new frontier
We have got to make it here

We satisfy our endless needs and
justify our bloody deeds,
in the name of destiny and the name
of God

And you can see them there,
On Sunday morning
They stand up and sing about
what it’s like up there
They call it paradise
I don’t know why
You call someplace paradise,
kiss it goodbye

With Global Warming, the war and the greed of the present administration (not to mention the mis-use of claiming to be doing God’s bidding) and the immigration issues, this song is so relevant for today. The song even references the Statue of Liberty…the Mother of Exiles.

I could see that so much more than how to finish this image was going on…..here we are, as a country, in the middle of an election year, looking for change, looking for hope to end the madness that has been going on.

I’ll let this swirl around in my head for a few days and see what comes of it in regards to the above image. But as I was talking to my son and daughter about this today, I asked them…what do you think of when you think of the word Hope?

What images or symbols do you think of?

(Below is the entire poem that is on the Statue of Liberty)

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
Emma Lazarus, 1883

Shoes and Cars

Ash — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 16:57:55 +0000

Once again, busy, busy, busy! Not with designs, but with car shopping and The Atlanta Shoe Show.

I hate car shopping. Hubby does all the research, but then we go and test drive, and test drive and test drive and narrow down what we want…*tiring*

But, over and over, I kept going back to the Volvo – with the V70 wagon or the S60 sedan. Yep, that is what I wanted!

So, we are off to the Atlanta Shoe Show (for hubby’s work) and he comments…there are so many dealerships here and they are very competitive, we should buy a car here!

I make my move on that note…yes, thats a great idea. So, after a fabulous brunch at our favorite French bakery in Marietta, we are on our way to the show and lookie there, a Volvo dealership! Hubby pulls in…the point was to drive both a wagon and the sedan and decide which one.

Well, they had no wagons…no one has wagons….everyone is looking for wagons (I am talking pre-owned, not new)

But they have a gorgeous gold S60…low miles…..I test drive it…then I say…”I’m tired of waiting…let’s DO THIS NOW!!”

Five hours later (and without ever making it to the shoe show that day) I am driving away in my new car!

We did get to the show the next day and while it was a fast blur through it, I did get to bring home (to test drive) a pair of flipflops designed to give your legs a workout when you wear them. They are called Fitflops.

One perk of being married to the foot/shoe guy is that he is always bringing me home shoes to ‘try out’.

So, my latest news is new workout flipflops and a new car. Not a bad deal.

Treaure Hunt!

Ash — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:03:06 +0000

Happy Valentines Day!

Today begins a fun online Treasure Hunt hosted by Angie’s Baker Treasures.

Visit numerous great sites, collect the puzzle pieces to win a gorgeous Trinity Rose Bracelet!

Good Luck and Have Fun!